Why Are We So Afraid to Say What We Really Think?

After 25 years in the corporate world — most of it in HR — I’ve noticed something quietly troubling: People often have strong, insightful opinions… but rarely share them openly. Instead, they whisper behind closed doors, in private messages, or on 1:1 calls — rarely in meetings or public forums. I’ve come to understand why.

In many organisations — especially hierarchical ones — speaking up carries a cost.

The fear of being judged.

Of stepping out of line.

Of unintended consequences for challenging the status quo.

I’ve felt that fear too. There were times I didn’t speak — not because I lacked conviction, but because I wasn’t yet confident in how to challenge well. And I was afraid of what it might cost me. So, like many others, I stayed quiet. Silence often feels safer — especially when your livelihood is on the line.

But what’s most concerning is this: In my 16 years working with executive leadership teams, I’ve seen that silence most around those tables. If even leaders don’t feel safe to speak freely… what chance do more junior colleagues have?

Silence chips away at dialogue, trust, and diversity of thought — and over time, it becomes part of the culture.

I See It Online, Too

Now that I work remotely and mostly connect via LinkedIn, I’ve noticed the same thing here.

When polarising posts go up, bold stances are taken. Black-and-white views dominate. And while they can provoke thought, they often leave out the nuance — the “and” — that reflects how most of us really experience the world.

People “like,” but rarely comment. Especially if their view diverges.

Even when a post invites conversation, it’s usually the same few voices who respond. And I get it — it’s vulnerable to disagree publicly. It can feel risky.

Sometimes we say we’re too busy. But… I wonder:

Why are we here, if not to engage meaningfully?

This Isn’t a Judgement — It’s an Invitation

I know what it’s like to stay quiet.

To weigh your words.

To hold back something valuable because it might not be welcomed.

For many, especially those from underrepresented backgrounds, silence isn’t just a habit — it’s a survival strategy. Psychological safety still isn’t a reality in many workplaces. Speaking up doesn’t just take courage — it takes culture.

So this isn’t a call to “speak up or stay silent.”

It’s a gentle prompt to reflect:

What would help you feel safe enough to contribute?

When We Do Speak…

When I’ve been brave enough to comment — especially on challenging posts — and offered a different lens, something surprising happens:

Real, thoughtful, respectful conversation.

The kind that stretches, teaches, and builds connection.

That’s when LinkedIn feels richest — not when we all agree, but when we genuinely engage.

A Quiet Encouragement

If you read something that sparks a thought — share it.

If you agree, say what you agree with.

If you disagree, say so — respectfully and openly.

And if all you can do for now is “like” — that’s okay, too.

But when you’re ready, I hope you’ll share your voice.

Because we need it.

We need you.

We need your version of the “and.”

What about you?

Have you ever held back from commenting?

What helps you feel safe enough to contribute?

I’d love to hear — if and when you’re ready to share.